On Sadness


Not fun to talk about

Never fun to experience

When the light of your world is fading, how do you cope?

Do you eat ice cream, drink wine, and cry?

Do you go out with friends to distract yourself?

Do you shut yourself away and shut yourself down in hopes that the noise of the sadness will also shut itself off?

I don't know the best way to cope. I think it's different for everyone.

I know that a light of my world is fading and I don't know how to cope.

I know that eating ice cream and drinking wine fills the moment but not the sadness.

I know that crying is valid and normal and okay.

I know that sadness is important, if not easy.

I know that sadness.

I know that.

I know.


Be Passionate

It is important to have passions. To defend them. To believe their importance.

It is important to be well-read. To know that what you say is accurate. So others will believe your words.

It is important to speak through tough times. To stand up for what is right. For those who can't.

My words are now out here among all of the other words that have come up in light of what happened in Florida two weeks ago, what happened in Oregon two years ago, what happened in Colorado twenty years ago.

I'm not going to have another debate about guns with people who don't see the hypocrisy of the legislators in Washington, D.C. Until they are both anti-gun and anti-abortion, their opinions about either topic mean nothing to me. You can't be pro-gun and pro-life.  Please tell me these are not opposite policies they are clinging to.

I'm not going to argue about why more guns is a way worse option than no guns. Look at Australia if you need evidence. They took away semi-automatic weapons and haven't had a mass shooting in twenty years. Please tell me how our society is better for its access to whatever guns "we" want.

I'm not having futile conversations with people about what "responsible gun ownership" is. If you are hunting, which many of my family does, you don't need a semi-automatic weapon. If you go to a shooting range, rent a gun there. If you think that you, a responsible gun owner, will be quicker than someone with murder on their mind, I hope you're never faced with that situation.

Common sense gun legislation is just that: common sense. Have we become so desensitized to violence that we can't use our common sense anymore? Have we, as a country, become such slaves to advertising and lobbying that we can't use our common sense anymore? Have we, as a society, become so immune to the cries of children and parents that we can't use our common sense anymore?

I don't know about you, but I'm tired of this. I'm tired of this cyclical "mass shooting, not-the-right-time-to-discuss-gun-legislation, when-is-the-right-time-to-talk-about-it-then, back to normal, quiet, oh look another mass shooting" history that we are writing in our country.

These high school students are incredible. They are brave and well-spoken and unafraid, and all of that after a fellow student killed 17 of their friends. If only I had that courage. If only I had that nerve. If only I had that drive. So here I am, writing more words about an event that shouldn't have happened after Columbine happened, after Virginia Tech happened, after Sandy Hook happened, after Marjory Stoneman Douglas happened, after (fill in the blank here) happens.

Do not fool yourself. If we don't do something more than limit bump stocks and have better mental health screenings (while ironically taking away funding for mental health...?) or arm teachers (WTF), there will be another school. And another. And another.

And I hate writing about sad and serious things on my blog, but this can't go on. And I can't sit back and not say what I'm thinking. These are kids, they were shot at, and now they are changing the country. This is the future. And I can't wait to see how amazing it is.

A Love Affair: Coconut Oil

I thought I might start a new thing where I tell you something I love every once in a while. How's that sound? Good? Good!

So, for my first "A Love Affair" entry, I'm going to share why I'm obsessed with coconut oil.

Coconut Oil.JPG

I feel a little late to the party here as health blogs have been writing about the benefits of coconut oil for a long time. But I am a believer now!

Winter is no good for our skin--cold, no sunshine, dry heat inside, etc. However, I've found that coconut oil is helping my skin battle through winter! I put it on my patches of eczema and they were gone in a couple days. I've been regularly using it on my arms and the little bumps I (and many others) have on the backs of my upper arms are gone! You can add essential oils to make it smell good (I add lavender to mine) or use it plain. If my face is super dry, I'll put a little bit of unscented coconut oil on--it absorbs right in and my face is soft and full of moisture.

I also like using coconut oil for my scalp! It's a great treatment for dry scalp and is super easy to use. You take a handful of oil, rub it all over your scalp and let it sit for 15-20 minutes. Then, hop in the shower and wash your hair normally. I haven't done this enough this winter, but it really does help get rid of dry scalp when done regularly, plus it smells good!

Coconut oil is even good for our furry friends! It can be used to hydrate the pads of their paws in the winter when salt and cold makes them cracked and dry. It's safe for them to ingest, so when they inevitably lick it off their paws, it doesn't hurt them. The other plus side is that if you already have it in your cabinet, you don't have to spend money on some special paw cream! Calvin loves it.

And of course, coconut oil is delicious! I love using it for stir-fry, curry, and fried potatoes. It can be used in desserts too. I prefer olive oil for most cooking, but sometimes coconut oil is the way to go.

So that's it--that's my love affair with coconut oil. I hope you try using it in a different way than you have before, and let me know if you have uses I didn't list because I'm all about a multi-tasking product.

As I'm converting my beauty and home products to more natural alternatives, I'm sure I'll come across more products I want to share with you. Stay tuned for that!

11x11 Wardrobe Challege: Part 2

I did it! I didn't take photos of every outfit, but I stuck to my plan and put together ten outfits from my eleven pieces! Here are a few photos of the days I remembered to take one:

This doesn't make me want to go back to a capsule wardrobe, but it does help me remember why I don't need anymore clothes for winter. I am planning to do a 10x10 each season to help pinpoint new clothing items I may actually need to buy and remember what clothing items I love to wear the most! Here are a couple more outfits from the last two weeks:

If you don't want to commit to a full-on capsule wardrobe (and all the preparation that takes, which is a lot), a 10x10 is a great way to dip your toes into minimizing your closet. I also started using some necklaces that I haven't worn in a while, which was great! Remembering that I have some accessories to spice up basic outfits was an added bonus of this challenge.

I also realized that I desperately need to replace my black booties. Luckily, they are still sold on Amazon (available here), so I'm using some of my tax return to replace them!

I'm very happy I did this challenge and I'll keep you posted when I do my spring 10x10 later this year. Thanks for tuning in for this update!

Back to Basics


I'm trying to sort through all the busy, all the extraneous, all the non-required things going on in my life to get to the good stuff. Get to the deep, rooted, and wonderful friendships; get to the seriously quality time with my loved ones; get to the simple joy of time spent doing things I love, which includes staying in--it's the new going out, you know?

As I reflected on last year, there were so many fantastic things that happened. I ran a 5k; I watched many friends find joy and success, get married, have babies, buy homes; I got engaged; I started a new job. But I also realized all of these things I love that I didn't do nearly enough--embrace my creativity, bake new desserts, participate fully in friendships.

This year, one of my goals is to get back to that quality time, give kindness, and appreciate small, quiet moments that happen every day.

So, I picked a giant blanket pattern to knit (available from an amazing knitter, and new friend, here). I have a new cake recipe in my arsenal to try out for Book Club in February (from The Great British Baking Show--available on Netflix, you should watch it, it's amazing). I'm making it a priority to spend time with friends and provide small kindnesses to them when I can. Zach and I are spending less time on technology when we are together.

This all kind of plays into my word of the year: savor. I'm finding it's an even better word for 2018 than I anticipated.

See? Back to the basics.